The Headache Specialist

Skeptically, I visited a true-blue Headache specialist today.  It seems after ONE visit to a local Neurologist and ONE phone call regarding a problem with medication, he decided in his infinite wisdom to pass me off to someone else.  I know how some patients can be "a pain" to deal with; I've watched my husband be ever so patient with one too many hysterical parent.  I did not think I qualified as such, so was a bit surprised with a phone call informing me of my recent transfer of care.  The appointment was quickly made for the following week. 

The forms were filled out, the questions answered and the obligatory interaction with the front office staff with a low personality quotient ensued.  

"I really think I can help you feel much better," he confidently stated.  "Go to Target, get 4 vials of medication and I will give you injections in your neck tomorrow. Ok? Ok."

Wait just one darn minute.  If I had my computer in his office with good wi-fi, I would have been Googling the following, in this order: "migraine injection, Depo-Medrol migraine, treatment for migraine neck, dangers of injections for migraine treatment......" So, the paranoia set in. The Googling commenced almost immediately when I got home.  Ah, the panic relief of fact finding.

My conclusions are thus: what ever it takes, man. Whatever it takes to get rid of these stupid, life-interrupting headaches.  I detest telling my family, "I have a headache, I need to lay down." It is the equivalent to saying, in my mind, "I just can't handle life. My head seems to think it needs to throb for some asinine reason which has nothing to do with you, but removes me from all normal existence until it ends. Excuse me while I jump on the pain wagon and let it circle around my life as if I have no control. Oh, and you'll have to make your own dinner and have no wife/mother for a while.  Get used to it; it will happen every week or so."

I would never say such things out loud for any good reason.  A headache simply seems to have the right to make statements like those whenever it feels like it.  

Four shots in my neck? Sure, bring it on.  I just hope the receptionist gets a good dose of Southern manners in the next 24 hours so when she collects money from me tomorrow, thenI will actually feel like she cares.  "It's just my job" doesn't cover rudeness.  Maybe a shot into her neck would, however.  Oh my, did I just say that? I do declare!!!...